Quote of the Day (2013-08-31)

Niles: That bit of inspired lunacy you heard before the commercial was just a little docudrama Frasier and I put together on the dangers of over-medication. Bravo, Frasier, for so brilliantly demonstrating why they call it "dope."

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2013-08-30)

George: "I'd rather be dating the blind. You know, you could let the house go. You could let yourself go. A good looking blind woman doesn't even know you're not good enough for her."

Elaine: "I think she'd figure it out."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-08-29)

Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-08-28)

Rose Schwartz: Actors don't like to play coma. They feel it limits their range.

Source: Soapdish

Quote of the Day (2013-08-27)

Jerry: "What else did you two do?"

Elaine: "Oh, you know, girly stuff."

Jerry: "So, uh, flower shows, shopping for pretty bows, then back to her place, strip down to bra and panties for a tickle fight."

Elaine: "That's really what you think girls do, isn't it?"

Jerry: "Yes, I do."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-08-26)

[Bart is faking illness to get out of a test he hasn't prepared for]

Bart: Ohhhh, my ovaries.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2013-08-25)

Bart Simpson: I want to be emancipated!

Homer Simpson: Emancipated? Why do you want that? Don't you like being a dude?

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2013-08-24)

Moe: Hey, I don't need no advice from a pinball machine. I'll have you know, I wrote the book on love.

Grampa: Yeah - "All Quiet on the Western Front".

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2013-08-23)

BR: We don't sell Tic Tacs, we sell cigarettes. And they're cool, available, and *addictive*. The job is almost done for us.

Source: Thank You For Smoking

Quote of the Day (2013-08-22)

Martin: Half your listening audience hears voices already, and the other half talks to themselves! If you don't show up, who's going to notice?

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2013-08-21)

Jim Hacker: "Obviously the Home Secretary will have to resign."

Sir Humphrey: "Alas, yes."

Jim Hacker: "What on earth will happen to him?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well, I gather he was as drunk as a lord, so after a discrete interval they will probably make him one."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-08-20)

Jim Hacker: "Bernard, this government is here to govern, not merely preside like our predecessors did. When a country is going downhill, it is time for someone to get into the driving seat, and put his foot on the accelerator."

Bernard Woolley: "I think you mean the brake."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-08-19)

Philip: Oh, I tell you. Women are not the sensitive sex. That's one of the grand delusions of literature. Men are the true romanticists.

Source: Indiscreet

Quote of the Day (2013-08-18)

Lester Burnham: [narrating] That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.

Source: American Beauty

Quote of the Day (2013-08-17)

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-08-16)

Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, we are talking about 100,000 deaths a year."

Sir Humphrey: "Yes, but cigarette taxes pay for a third of the cost of the National Health Service. We are saving many more lives than we otherwise could because of those smokers who voluntary lay down their lives for their friends. Smokers are national benefactors."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-08-15)

Derek Zoolander: So join now, 'cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?

Source: Zoolander

Quote of the Day (2013-08-14)

Mike Stivic: You know, you are totally incomprehensible.

Archie Bunker: Maybe so, but I make a lot of sense.

Source: All in the Family

Quote of the Day (2013-08-13)

Your kids don't need to know who you were before you had them. They need to know who you wish you were and they need to try to live up to that person. They're gonna fall short, but better to fall short of the fake you than the real you.

Source: Modern Family

Quote of the Day (2013-08-12)

Principal Gibbons: This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2013-08-11)

Once had love, and it was divine.

Soon turned out, I was losing my mind.

Source: Blondie

Quote of the Day (2013-08-09)

Carol: Do you want to dance?

Melvin Udall: I've been thinking about that for a while.

Carol: [standing up] Well?

Melvin Udall: No.

Source: As Good As It Gets

Quote of the Day (2013-08-08)

[as he goes to hand Renault a bribe]

Jan Brandel: Captain Renault... may I?

Captain Renault: Oh no! Not here please! Come to my office tomorrow morning. We'll do everything business-like.

Jan Brandel: We'll be there at six!

Captain Renault: I'll be there at ten.

Source: Casablanca

Quote of the Day (2013-08-07)

[George describing his breakup attempt]

It's like I was making a prison break, you know. And I'm heading for the wall, and I trip and I twist my ankle, and they throw the light on you, you know. So, somehow I get through the crying and I keep running. Then the cursing started. She's firing at me from the guard tower: 'Son of a bang! Son of a boom!' I get to the top of the wall, the front door. I opened it up, I'm one foot away. I took one last look around the penitentiary, and I jumped!

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-08-06)

Elaine: "You've never felt remorse."

Jerry: "I know. I feel bad about that."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-08-05)

Sir Humphrey: "How are things at the Campaign for the Freedom of Information, by the way?"

Sir Arnold: "Sorry, I cannot talk about that."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-08-04)

Evelle: I got me some baby grub, baby wipes, diapers, them disposable kind. I also got a package of balloons.

Gale: They blow up into funny shapes and all?

Evelle: No, just circular.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2013-08-03)

FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!

HERBERT: What, the curtains?

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-08-02)

Mr. Ross: "It's a terrible tragedy when parents outlive their children."

George: "Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-08-01)

Bart: The Constitution? I'm pretty sure the Patriot Act killed it to ensure our freedoms.

Source: The Simpsons